The Rodent That Just Won’t Die

(The following rant is all an opinion)

It’s a fact; Sonic the Hedgehog sucks. I find myself struggling to remember his last successful title.

Sonic Heroes maybe? I feel that even that may be stretching it. I’m aware that he has recently acquired that brand of cult following that only likes something if it’s considered shit by the general populace, so my assessment may not be seen as favorable to all. Regardless, the Sonic series hasn’t produced a good game in almost a decade; it has attained the mark of death.

If any other series had not only such a long period since its last successful title but as many lackluster titles within that time frame, it would be eradicated. So why does he continue to exist?

Sony got the idea with Gex the gecko and Crash Bandicoot (although I feel that the demise of the latter was the result of poor handling rather than a mark of death) and one can only hope that they do so again with the Killzone characters; why do people say that game is good?

The few remaining sane people that have even a lingering interest in the Sonic series have long voiced their desire to have a Sonic Adventure 2 game remade with current gen graphics. Imagine my surprise when, upon glancing at my computer screen, I see “Sonic Adventure 2 to be remade….”

My pupils dilate, my breathing accelerates. Could it be?

Is it possible that a falling developer has finally listened to their merciful fanbase and done what they were told?

“Sonic Adventure 2 to be remade in HD graphics”

I sighed as I read the full caption.

Why this particular title?
Why at this particular time?

It sounds like a slap in the face, no?

Either the developers are not in touch with their fanbase, they thought that this would be a suitable replacement for a partial reimagining of the Sonic Adventure 2 title or they just don’t care. No matter which one you choose, the conclusion that is to be drawn is that the developers are idiots.

I predict there will be nothing to be gained from such a pointless release because anyone that would be interested in a release from such a series already has the game and who wants to pay for something they already have except for the insane?

It reminds me of Square Enix and their drama with Final Fantasy 7, only Sonic Team has not achieved anywhere near the success since Sonic Adventure 2 that Square Enix has since Final Fantasy 7.

No matter how I cut it, I just can’t see this series as something worth keeping around.

Am I crazy? Am I the only one that sees this blue hellspawn as something to be eradicated?

Look at the guys behind Duke Nukem; they repeatedly attempted to release something that would ultimately be seen to be shit until the release of Duke Nukem Forever, which was remarkably garbage. Now, one can rest assured that the book is closed on Duke Nukem; he will never be seen or heard from again.

Why have we not reached this with Sonic?

This is a serious question. I want you guys to tell me why no one finds it strange that Sonic is still alive as a brand and character.